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When Partners Have Mismatched Libidos: Advice for ADHD Couples

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Q: “My ADHD spouse and I have different needs for sex and intimacy. He wants to have sex constantly, and I don’t. How do we reconcile these differences in our sex drives?”ADHD is linked to high sex drive1, which may contribute to significant differences in desire between romantic partners — and challenges reconciling those differences.

This can turn what is supposed to be fun, positive, and connecting into something that is stressful, disappointing, and disconnecting.It can also become difficult to talk about this issue in a productive way once it has been contentious.

The partner with the lower desire often feels pressured, like it’s their responsibility to make things better. The partner with the higher desire feels disappointed and perceives that the other partner doesn’t care enough about them in this way.

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