“Sometimes we motivate ourselves by thinking of what we want to become. Sometimes we motivate ourselves by thinking about who we don’t ever want to be again.” ~Shane Niemeyer
When I faced the prospect of no longer anymore (at age twenty-one!), after eight years of heavy boozing, I had so many questions about my dating life.
Will I be fun anymore? Will I have FOMO? How will I cope with stress? What will I drink on dates? Will anyone want to be with me? What will sober sex be like? Omg!
These questions paralyzed me, as I couldn’t imagine my life without alcohol, yet I couldn’t imagine my life with it either. I put down the drink and with it, I thought I surrendered my desirability and compatibility as a potential partner.
That couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Over time, I’ve realized plenty of people don’t mind that I’m sober; some even like it or are sober too. Ultimately, I found I didn’t really care what others thought because I was okay with myself.
The reality was, slowly but surely, getting sober healed my , sex, and love life for good. Here’s how.
Feeling My Feelings
Gosh, alcohol seemed to solve everything. Stressed? Drink. Excited? Drink. Sad? Drink.
I’m face-to-face with reality without picking up the bottle every time I have a feeling. I don’t get to check out. It’s a good thing, honestly. It means I feel the spectrum of feelings and am present with them, which helps me work through those feelings in a healthy way.
I recently , and it destroyed me emotionally. Even though I was the initiator, I felt so many feelings.
I spent the first few weeks running from my feelings by trying to meet people on dating apps (what a joke that was at such a raw point!), but I quickly realized this wouldn’t serve me. I
Will I (I)