positive: recent publications

Grief Swallowed Me Whole and Spit Me Back Out

Grief had swallowed me whole and spit me back out. I was a mess and I had become comfortable dedicating my life to living this way, because I thought I deserved it. December 2021 marked three years since my son hasn’t been here with me in this world.

From the day he passed, I lost myself without him here. I wasn’t his mom anymore, so I kept questioning who am I really? My life consists of pulling myself from a dark hole each day as I wake up from my 1,095th consecutive sleepless night. I couldn’t catch up on anything in my life, I felt like a failure every day. I was in a place of survival and this sent me into a PTSD spiral. 

For a long time I was lost as I had to be a person in this world without my son in this world. I believed I deserved nothing because my body didn’t protect him while he was in my womb. Recently, I made the conscious decision to take my life back. Up until a few months ago, I was letting others control my decisions, letting one person’s bad opinion of me control how I saw myself, and letting a stressful job make me think I didn’t deserve to live in this world. I lost control after losing my son, and it got to the point I didn’t think I deserved to walk in this world and I should meet my son on the other side.

One day I woke up and was tired of the sadness cloud that followed me. After making some positive life changes that left me jobless for two weeks, I realized I deserve happiness and I deserve life. I was allowing people who were programmed to misunderstand me control my life. I was allowing negative moments be an indicator that I didn’t deserve to live. My son’s birthday came and went and I hadn’t smiled in a week, I couldn’t move off the couch, and I couldn’t think clear thoughts from my

liking life positive
themighty.comthemighty.com

positive: Readers Choice

Grief had swallowed me whole and spit me back out. I was a mess and I had become comfortable dedicating my life to living this way, because I thought I deserved it. December 2021 marked three years since my son hasn’t been here with me in this world.
“In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.”Albert Camus“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”Anne Bradstreet Up here in Sweden the winter is dark, cold and often comes with a mix of rain and snow.And spring is still far away.It is not easy to keep the energy and optimism up like in the bright and warm summer days.So today I'd like to share 7 habits I use that make it a lot easier to stay positive even throughout this dark and often grey season.1. Find one of your biggest energy sucks.Ask yourself: What is the biggest energy suck in my life right now?You may for example find that it is a person in your life that is very negative.Or that the report that you have been meaning to finish for a month now is dragging you down.Then you follow that up with asking:What is one thing I can do about this?Maybe you decide that you want stop hanging out with that person.

Related articles