emotions partner communication in relationships relationship communication

Why Good Communication Is Actually Good Emotion Regulation in Disguise


Couples often say that they need to work on their communication. This is what is holding them back from greater happiness.Kind of, but not really.Ironically, couples who aren’t getting along often communicate very clearly: “I don’t want to talk to you about that.” “Why would you ask me that?” “There’s something wrong with you.” “You’re making me angry.” They are very clearly broadcasting their hurt, disappointment, frustration, confusion, and/or anxiety.

Message sent and received.What may not be communicated as clearly is, “I want us to do better in this way,” and perhaps most importantly, “here is what I think that we each need to do to get there.” Or maybe that productive message is lost in a lousy delivery.

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