I appeared happy from the outside. I was the life of the party, personable, enthusiastic, and funny. I had recently moved back to my hometown after 6 years away, was engaged to my girlfriend of almost 5 years, and I did well at my job.However, this was only to mask the negative thoughts and feelings I had experienced for years.Fueled by a fear of following my dreams and failing, guilt and shame would consume me, leading to depression.
I worried about being honest with those that were close to me out of fear of losing them. I loathed myself.Growing up, I witnessed my biological mother destroy herself by not properly managing her depression.
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