It’s often said that “people say things they don’t mean when they’re angry.” I’m guilty of this, too. And though it’s important to not make excuses for hurtful language we might spew out in a moment of anger, it is true that people often say things they likely would not have said if their emotions weren’t so elevated.
I’ve fought with my sister, yelled at my mom and bickered with close friends. I’ve said hurtful things I regret, but who hasn’t?
Yet, I wasn’t only angry in these moments because often, anger is not the primary emotion. Anger often comes secondary to other kinds of hurt, like anxiety, sadness, embarrassment and shame.
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