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A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Thinking You ‘Should’ Be Somewhere Else in Life

liking personality life feelings
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“I should have gotten my adulting stuff together by now — I’m so far behind.” “I should have a husband and babies by now, right?

All my college girlfriends do.” “Don’t most people know by age 30 what it is they want to do with their lives? I should know what I want to be when I grow up by now!” This might be a particularly triggering time for “shoulding” on yourself.

As in, “I should be further along and I can’t believe I’m still working on [fill in the blank].” Reviewing all of your life areas and carefully crafting your annual goals can be a terrific exercise in going after your dreams, and it can also turn into a bit of a self-flagellation when we catch ourselves bemoaning where we are, longing to be somewhere different, and comparing

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