“You don’t look autistic” is something that many autistic adults have heard countless times, including me. It’s usually said in a well-meaning way, as in, “I would never know you were different” or “don’t worry, nobody can tell.” To most autistic people, this isn’t a compliment because it only further highlights the difficulties of having an invisible disability.
When someone tells me that I don’t look autistic, I hear that they have an incorrect or very narrow idea of what autism is and that I don’t fit that stereotype.
It’s a comment that serves to invalidate someone’s disability and reinforce that disability is a negative that should be avoided.
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