I don’t know how to be in the world right now. I don’t know how to be a good friend, partner, or parent. The weight of life is cracking and flattening me into an unrecognizable shape.
I am entering my second decade of chronic illness and completing year two of a pandemic. I used to force myself to push through moments of feeling too tired, too overwhelmed, too underprepared — focusing on survival while maintaining the status quo.
The status quo is now a constantly moving limbo bar. Right now, the bar hovers on the ground. Back arched, shuffling forward, the extension of my bend has met its limit.
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