Life advice: recent publications

Do you see what I see? Likely not, as we each see ourselves through the lens of our own story. Here’s a snapshot of mine.I grew up lower middle class. I was overweight and bullied in school, which had a lasting emotional effect well beyond the years of bullying.

76% of people die with the same regret. “Not fulfilling their ideal self.”This is from a Cornell study conducted a few years back.The “ideal self” is the attributes you would ideally like to possess, such as hopes, goals, aspirations, or wishes. It’s the forsaken dreams, romantic interests not pursued, and choosing the “safe” job instead of the adventurous position.It ties nicely to the #1 regret of the dying, according to Bronnie Ware:“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”So how do you become the minority? How do you become the 24%?First, we must understand that we have two double whammies to contend with.Our deepest human need is to survive.Our brains are survival machines and nothing more.

Many people waste their precious time thinking about their unpleasant past events and experiences, especially their relationships. Most individuals are aware that the past cannot be changed and the future cannot be predicted.Yet they make the mistake of brooding about the events that are beyond their control. Wisdom lies in living in the present.

People have good and bad memories. They cherish their good memories and demolish bad memories.

Humans are hardwired to avoid and escape pain.As such, we seek the fastest, most efficient route to avoid and escape. We seek short-term fixes in lieu of long-term solutions and inner peace.When our lives are unfulfilling, when we know we’re not filling our full potential, when we ask, “Is this all there is?” or “Aren’t I meant for more?”, we’re experiencing pain. Our soul’s deepest desire is to create meaning; it’s intrinsic to us. One of the ways we create meaning is to pursue our life’s calling, fueled by our mission. I delineate the two as:A Life’s Calling is the task (writing, speaking, teaching, composing, sculpting, etc.).The mission is the why (serving something more significant than ourselves).Combined, they are the energy that shoots us out of bed each morning and that we’re willing to put it all on the line for. The pain we experience, the angst, the frustration, the disillusionment, the sense of betrayal (I did all the things I was supposed to do, WTF?), and the emptiness are products of not having a calling and mission or having a calling and mission – but being paralyzed by fear and unable to take action. Because our life’s calling, the reason we’re here is terrifying. It flies in the face of how our brains are wired.

One of the biggest problems in society is that we are taught to follow trends and move through life without questioning authority. School, as well as post-secondary education, teaches us to follow rules, please our teachers, and follow trends so we fit in. While seemingly harmless, you’re learning to prioritize other people over your own personal and professional success. One of the biggest lessons in life for a successful person is learning to say no.

One of the biggest problems in society is that we are taught to follow trends and move through life without questioning authority. School, as well as post-secondary education, teaches us to follow rules, please our teachers, and follow trends so we fit in. While seemingly harmless, you’re learning to prioritize other people over your own personal and professional success. One of the biggest lessons in life for a successful person is learning to say no.

Humans are hardwired to avoid and escape pain.As such, we seek the fastest, most efficient route to avoid and escape. We seek short-term fixes in lieu of long-term solutions and inner peace.When our lives are unfulfilling, when we know we’re not filling our full potential, when we ask, “Is this all there is?” or “Aren’t I meant for more?”, we’re experiencing pain. Our soul’s deepest desire is to create meaning; it’s intrinsic to us. One of the ways we create meaning is to pursue our life’s calling, fueled by our mission. I delineate the two as:A Life’s Calling is the task (writing, speaking, teaching, composing, sculpting, etc.).The mission is the why (serving something more significant than ourselves).Combined, they are the energy that shoots us out of bed each morning and that we’re willing to put it all on the line for. The pain we experience, the angst, the frustration, the disillusionment, the sense of betrayal (I did all the things I was supposed to do, WTF?), and the emptiness are products of not having a calling and mission or having a calling and mission – but being paralyzed by fear and unable to take action. Because our life’s calling, the reason we’re here is terrifying. It flies in the face of how our brains are wired.

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive.This is the source of our deepest conflict. Our brains are survival machines and nothing more.

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? Change is hard, especially today, where 1 in 3 people are diagnosed with anxiety. I can imagine the other 2 in 3 feel the clutches of anxiety in their lives. The constant need to ‘keep up with the Kardashians,’ to post how happy we are on social media, and to put on a smiling face can be daunting if not downright haunting. So how do we change when change is scary? When change is unknown? When even the thought of change immobilizes us? When we stay stuck in a place where the anxiety swirls, this will not help us make the changes we want to see in our lives.

Learning how to be charming can have several real-world impacts on your life. Did you know that people who are charming often have more employment opportunities? They also have more luck finding dating opportunities and have better interpersonal relationships.

As strong, independent people, we usually have A LOT on our plate that we must accomplish before hitting the next goal on our lists, whether it’s in our personal or public lives.Let’s face it. There’s always another goal on our bucket list that we’re trying to accomplish after we finish the last one.

As a young child, I was fascinated with stocks. The idea of being able to make calculated decisions that could potentially yield an increase in my initial investment became a thrilling game for me. Granted, my investments were as big as I was in my youthful years.

Looking for the benefits meditation has to offer? Discover how the skill can help us manage stress in our ever-changing, fast-paced lives.

Imagine jumping out of your bed in the morning with a smile on your face, feeling happy and energetic. You can’t wait for the day to start. But such mornings are very rare for you, aren’t they? What’s not so rare for you is waking up every day with the same boring feeling.

Can you imagine your life without the weight of your inner critic? What would your days feel like without all the negative self-talk? What possibilities would emerge in its absence?The effects of a crappy inner dialogue might feel all too familiar, but rarely do we stop to consider its true cost. Without an honest exploration of the war we wage with ourselves, we fall prey to things like imposter syndrome, the comparison trap, and self-doubt.

Ask anyone who’s been betrayed, and they’ll tell you that the “knife in the back” is not only a metaphor but an actual physical sensation. It’s been over ten years since I felt double-crossed by a business partner and walked away empty-handed from what I had believed was my purpose in life.

I recently read the 5 Ethics of Life from The Wise You. I believe these 5 principles offer a great deal of wisdom for living a very successful life.Every successful person I have ever worked with has developed the ability to listen.I was directing a basketball clinic in New York and went to dinner with a high school coach and the legendary UCLA coach, John Wooden.

I have been blessed with many aha moments in my life. I look at aha moments as gifts from God—that He loves me enough to show me things clearly and if I accept them, my life will have positive results.

I went to a modern art museum once with a friend who was also an artist. We were looking at, what was for me, a particularly challenging piece of art that was just a giant white canvas with a square of black paint in the middle of it.

As we start another year, you’re probably thinking about your life goals, dreams, aspirations, and what you want to accomplish. We know that New Year’s resolutions have gotten a bad reputation because most people lose focus after the first few months and the first signs of resistance.Starting your year with goals, resolutions, or whatever you want to call them should be a part of your plan because constant growth in our lives is the key to happiness and fulfillment.

For many years in my life, I fell into the trap of thinking that if I search externally, my purpose would come to me. It began during my junior year of college, when I saw most of my peers preparing themselves for interviews with consulting firms with the hopes of landing a summer internship, which would then convert into a full-time offer before senior year.I thought that consulting was a good option based on its popularity on campus, in addition to how the consulting firms marketed themselves, “Consulting is like a continuation of your liberal arts degree.

We live in a culture where striving for perfection is hailed as a virtue. Over the centuries, that ideal has become embedded in our collective consciousness as something to aspire to consistently.

Friendships occur when two or more individuals develop a connection built from understanding, respecting, and caring about each other’s needs, ideas, concerns, desires, and feelings.

A study conducted by Gettysburg College found that you spend one-third of your life at work. On average, a person will spend 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be liked by people. In fact, everyone seeks some sort of validation from others.

Here’re the regrets of the dying that will make you ponder life and change the way you think! Part of Kathy Caprino’s series “Finding Brave To Build Your Happiest and Best Life and Career”Each year for my work, I review and study a large amount of material—from blog posts and articles, to research studies, books, papers, TEDx talks, and more. Much of it shares important information aimed to help people overcome their challenges and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Yiddish proverb

“Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up.”-Audrey Hepburn

I think it’s important to realize that no matter how good you are to people, it won’t make them good to you.Unknown

Are you who like many other people, takes their life for granted? How about you stop for a moment and enjoy life for what it is?Remember when you first started dating someone new, got that job offer, or moved into your new place (insert other exciting life change here) and you were feeling on top of the world? That feeling can be addictive and is what motivates many people to continuously chase “the next hit” with achievements, buying things, or new relationships.   While these exciting changes can often contribute to a short-term burst of happiness, they seem to lose their appeal after some time has passed.