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Why I Didn't Ask 'Why Me?' When My Daughter Was in the NICU

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My daughter has cerebral palsy. I remember her birth like it was yesterday. I was standing in a room full of isolettes. My baby was in one of them with wires and tubes attached to her frail, little body.

Determined to document what the medical staff said, I kept a journal for her first 121 days. This is how her journey began: Monday: She arrived after 10 hours of labor No Cesarean section (natural birth) 850 grams (less than 2 pounds) Tuesday: Was told that her first week will determine her health. (We signed a document to give consent for our daughter to be a participant in a study.) Wednesday: Bowels working Respiration started at 60, and now it’s at 16 (we believe that she was chosen for the study, as she is breathing well).

Thursday: Intravenous feeding (yellow, liquid cereal with protein). She was crying — mouth open — but there was no sound. I wish I could do something.

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