How Emotionally Unavailable People Behave In Relationships“What attracts people, initially, is sometimes what breaks them apart in the end.” This was what my mom said during my aunt and uncle’s divorce.
I never really understood the wisdom of her statement until I studied childhood trauma and attachment. A human being’s need to attachment-trauma is profound, yet, because it is an unconscious tendency, people are not always aware that the attraction they feel for another person may be fueled by a desire to heal painful childhood wounds.
For example, if a person’s father was emotionally unavailable—meaning he constantly fluctuated between dismissive and rejecting to idealizing and controlling—the person may be drawn to a partner who operates.
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