In 2018, I saw a neurologist for the first time, hoping to take another step towards a diagnosis. At one point during his examination, he asked me to “breathe normally.” I calmed my mind and did my best to breathe “normally.” After a few seconds, he stopped me, saying, “No, no, just breathe as you normally would.” I was taken aback, as I felt I was breathing calmly, evenly, and deeply enough for my breathing to be considered “normal.” When I changed the way I was breathing to try to make it more “normal,” the neurologist stopped me again and told me now I was hyperventilating.
I was so frustrated and embarrassed that I nearly started to cry. This experience left me bewildered. Did I not know how to breathe?
How could I not know how to breathe? After all, breathing is automatic. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I truly didn’t know how to breathe.
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