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When I Learned My ‘Shy Personality’ Was Actually Social Anxiety

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I was officially diagnosed with social anxiety a few weeks ago, at age 25. But the first time I remember being socially anxious, I was 5.

I am 5. My mom holds my hand as we walk into my kindergarten classroom. There are 20 blue tiles on the ground. There are 14 pairs of shiny kids’ shoes.

I know this because I cannot bear to lift my eyes from the floor, even as my mom puts her hand under my chin and murmurs “they are friends, they are safe.” They do not feel safe.

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