people liking feelings

When Chronic Illness Turns You Into a Spectator of Your Own Life

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I sit in the parking lot of my local pharmacy, fingers lightly clasped around the steering wheel like a loose forkful of pasta.

My breathing is quick but not panicked. My heart follows suit — ba-dum, ba-dum-dum, ba-dum. There’s music coming from the radio but you couldn’t pay me to tell you what was playing… I have no idea.

I guess numbness is the best way to describe what I’m feeling. My mind won’t stop racing or asking questions: Wasn’t I here two days ago?

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