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What to Say to Someone You Love Who Has Self-Harmed

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Last Wednesday I self-harmed for the first time in almost two years, and I noticed a similar thing happened to the last time: a very well meaning and dear friend, in their shock and own pain at what I’d done, inadvertently made me feel more guilty and invalidated than I already felt.

This made me think, what if I could come up with a clear, simple list of things to say and also not to say to a loved one who has just self-harmed.

Self-harm is still a very taboo subject. It is one of the topics that understandably gets the most trigger warnings (see above), so as to not give anyone unhelpful ideas.

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