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What It's Like to Experience 'Blackout Dissociation'

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themighty.com

I have borderline personality disorder (BPD) and for me, stressful situations can work like a potent, mind-altering drug. In small doses, stressors seem to tweak my physiology and impair my thinking to some degree depending on their severity, but will eventually work their way through my system, at which point I can then go about my life with some semblance of normalcy.

But my experience is that large, frequent doses of stressors can send me into a dissociative nightmare that I would liken to stories I’ve heard about what it’s like to be “blackout drunk.” To help explain what that is, here’s a quote from comedian John Mulaney: In another sketch, Mulaney went on to discuss how he used to wake up from a night of blackout drinking and hear

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