people liking feelings

What It Feels Like to Go Non-Verbal as a Verbal Autistic

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As I sit, staring blankly ahead in the midst of my autistic meltdown, words course through my mind at the speed of light. All of my coping mechanisms seemed to have vanished, so the words are very negative.

I am being brought back to traumatic memories and events. The voices of all the people who have abused me come out to play. I find myself back in my childhood home, having a PTSD episode about being shoved into my room and having the door locked when all I wanted was a hug.

The scariest part for me is when I try to yell for help, but I can’t. I can feel myself trying to push the words from my head out of my mouth but it just won’t happen.

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