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What If My Sleeplessness Is a Gift?

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It’s been over four years since I’ve slept without struggle or some manner (or combination) of sleep aid. For much of this stretch I’ve further grappled with anxiety, guilt, and fear surrounding the question as to whether I’d ever sleep “normally” again.

But in recent months I’ve tried to approach my chronic condition differently. I decided to explore the possibility that the opposite could be true. What if my sleeplessness was/is a gift? It felt like a worthwhile question to ask, if not in pursuit of a clear prescriptive answer, at least as an attempt to reframe the “problem” of my insomnia.

It can be so easy, and perhaps common, to blame our illnesses (both physical and mental) for our failure to conform to some outside definition of

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