I woke up this morning only to wish that I didn’t. Every day, when I first open my eyes, I forget. I forget the pain. I forget the monotony.
I forget the amount of effort it takes for me to function. I forget I’m chronically ill. In those first few seconds of the day, I feel light.
I feel whole. I feel free. And then, all at once, the heaviness pushes down on my chest. Nothingness becomes everything. Now, I lie in bed dreading the day.
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