I healed some. I learned how to grieve career paths, friendships, partnerships, and children I wouldn’t be having. And, amazingly, grief brought me so much closer to being alive. Grieving for my faded dreams woke me up.And so my longing started to point upward to my great, holy Aloneness, with a capital A.
That kind of Aloneness is me making up my life, listening for cues from the Divine. “I” as “Creator.” My Higher Self at the center of my own mandala.But Alone is still alone, and on days when I was low on resources, I’d still wonder if my unmet longings were a punishment for unresolved karma.