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The Secret to Letting Go (And Why It’s Okay if You Can’t Right Now)

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“It’s not a matter of letting go—you would if you could. Instead of ‘Let it go,’ we should probably say ‘Let it be.'” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn When I was in my twenties, I went to see an acupuncturist because I’d been through a and felt uncertain about my life path and purpose. “Went” is a kind way of saying it; I was dragged.

I didn’t want to go, but my family was going and thought it might be supportive with all that I was going through. I was dealing with a lot of rough emotions and felt like I was on a daily roller coaster of lows.

The ride took me from anger, to sadness, back to regret, and to general disappointment in myself and life. I felt so angry that life had taken me down that path and that I hadn’t seen the breakup coming. I continued repeating this mental narrative for months, and my biggest trigger was thinking about the mistakes I’d made—starting with choosing a relationship that looked good on paper because I’d been hurt in the past when I’d followed my heart.  It was a whirlwind of an unhealthy relationship, and when I looked back, I wasn’t sure how it happened, but I knew that I was untrue to myself and to others.

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Positive reinforcement: Encourage and praise good behavior, focusing on the positives instead of constantly highlighting the negatives.Setting clear expectations: Establish clear, age-appropriate expectations and boundaries for behavior, ensuring that your child understands the rules and the reasons behind them.Natural consequences: Whenever possible, allow children to experience the natural consequences of their actions, helping them to learn from their mistakes and understand the importance of making responsible choices.Logical consequences: When natural consequences are not applicable or safe, implement logical consequences that are directly related to the misbehavior and teach the child how to make better choices in the future.Open communication: Foster open and honest communication by actively listening to your child’s feelings and concerns, validating their emotions, and working together to resolve conflicts or challenges.Modeling appropriate behavior: Demonstrate appropriate behavior and emotional regulation by managing your own emotions and reactions in difficult situations, providing your child with a positive example to follow.Parent-child collaboration: Involve your child in problem-solving and decision-making processes, allowing them to take ownership of their actions and develop a sense of autonomy.While discipline is necessary for teaching children about boundaries and acceptable behavior, relying on threats of consequences can have negative long-term effects on their emotional and psychological well-being.