ask the experts: recent publications

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treating kids emotional dysregulation ask the experts

11.10.2023 / 14:29

Q: “What Mind Mapping and Study Apps for Students with ADHD Work Best?”

Q: “My son has ADHD and is into tech and gadgets. He loves playing with apps on his phone and computer. I’m tired of fighting with him about his usage.

treating kids ask the experts tests and studying ADHD Apps & Tools

Q: “Will I Ever Love — or at Least Tolerate — Using a Daily Schedule?”

Q: “I need to overcome my aversion to schedules. I’m fine getting one of my kids, my husband, or myself to an appointment. Tasks I must do, like getting the chickens out of their coop and taking the dog out, always get done by 8 a.m.

Will I (I) treating adults routines ask the experts

Q: “Why Does the Fear of Failure Paralyze My Teen?”

Q: “Why does the fear of failure keep my teenage son with ADHD from getting his work done?” — NebraskaMomHi NebraskaMom:The fear of underperforming or failing is a very common obstacle for many teens, especially those with executive functioning challenges or ADHD. Due to the sheer nature of ADHD, the ability to complete tasks and assignments is daunting or overwhelming. Understanding the intricate interplay between ADHD and your son’s fear is essential to helping him navigate his academic journey.Imagine a busy train station where trains full of “concentration” are meant to depart on time.

procrastination treating kids ask the experts

Q: “My Partner Is Refusing an ADHD Evaluation”

Q: “My partner gets angry with me when I suggest that he get an evaluation for ADHD, which I strongly believe he has. How do I handle this?”Your partner might say, “I know I have ADHD, or I suspect I do, but I don’t want to get an evaluation. I’m never going to actually do anything about it.

Melissa Orlov personality love partner diagnosing adults ask the experts

Q: “How Can I Stop My Partner from Lying?”

Q: “My spouse lies to me. He’s a loving partner, but when he forgets to do something that I’ve asked him to do, he lies about it. Then I find out later and an argument ensues.

May I (I) Can I (I) Melissa Orlov treating adults ask the experts ADHD and Lying

Q: “How Do I Declutter My Home and Stop Collecting Stuff?”

Q: “I am so ashamed and frustrated by all the stuff my family has — buckets of photographs and hand-written notes, bookshelves overflowing with books, rooms filled with unopened toys and unworn clothes, and an unusable garage. How do we stop collecting clutter? I keep spending money buying things I can’t find or don’t remember having. Is this even normal?” — TommanHi Tomman:Yes, it’s normal.

Family life treating adults ask the experts Provident

Q: “How Do I Get Rid of My Sentimental Clutter?”

Q: “I am decluttering but having a hard time parting with my kids’ artwork, bric-a-brac from my late mother, and other mementos. What should I do? Rent a storage unit, or just live with these items?”A: Heavens! Do not rent a storage unit. This will be cumulatively expensive in both finances and labor (emotional and the “bills-to-pay” variety).When it comes to weeding out nostalgic items, keep in mind these three questions:[Read This Next: The Ultimate Room-by-Room Organization Guide]A former client of mine was holding onto a six-foot roll of linoleum left over from the first house she owned.

Happy New organization ask the experts Happy New DAY

“Q: How Can I Make Housework Stimulating?”

Q: “Doing housework is flat-out boring. I have a hard time getting started, if I start at all. Then, because I wait so long between cleanings, the work seems overwhelming.

Can I (I) Susan C.Pinsky treating adults organization ask the experts

Q: “Will Explaining ADHD to My Child Make Her Feel ‘Broken?’”

Q: “My 9-year-old was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I’m struggling with how to tell her about her diagnosis. I don’t want her to feel shame or believe something’s ‘wrong’ with her.

Ned Hallowell treating kids Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: “Fear of Failure Holds Me Back. How Do I Let Go of Past Mistakes?”

fear of failure, procrastination, repeat — is true for so many people, especially those with ADHD. The perfectionist part of you wants to avoid experiencing shame, blame, and embarrassment. You’ll do everything you can – even procrastinate – to make sure you don’t experience those feelings, even if it only makes things worse down the line.But here’s the thing (and I’ll say it no matter how corny it sounds): When you make choices that hold you back in any way, what you’re really doing is depriving the world of the uniqueness that is you.

procrastination treating adults ask the experts

Q: “What Essential Study Habits Does My College Freshman Need to Adopt?”

works in college. When you’re in high school, your days tend to follow a similar schedule and they are “bookended” – beginning and ending at the same time each day.

treating kids Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: “What Does ‘Be Yourself’ Mean for Adults with Fractured Self-Esteem?”

– NoNameHi NoName:At first glance, this question seemed very straightforward. For me, ‘be yourself’ means to be unapologetically you.

treating adults Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

“Q: I Think I Have ADHD. My Parents Don’t.”

NervousHi Nervous:I want to applaud you for reaching out and asking for help. Even for adults, it’s not easy to identify the right course of action or the most appropriate next steps when you think you have ADHD.

diagnosing kids Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

“Q: What Are the Best Planners for ADHD Brains? Paper or Digital?”

— PlannerMomHi PlannerMom!I thought long and hard about how to answer this question. Why? Because to know me as an academic/life coach for teens and college students is to know that I’m 100% on the “YOU-figure-out-the-best-systems-and-strategies-that-work-for-you” bandwagon.

Time Management Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

“Q: What If Your College Study Buddy is Super Distracting?”

Q: “My daughter just started her freshman year at college. She has ADHD and has found that working in the library really helps her stay focused and motivated.

focus Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

“Q: Why Can’t My 10-Year-Old Remember to Make His Bed?”

MMRMomHi MMRMom:I’m thrilled to be answering your question as we spend a lot of time in our Order Out of Chaos community talking about executive age. Let me explain.If your son has ADHD, then he also has executive functioning challenges.

executive functions Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: How Can We Get Our Child to Stop Lying?

Q: “My daughter (11) has a pattern of not telling the truth. She will be quite convincing — even with this Momma, who has a well-honed lie meter.

Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts ADHD and Lying

Q: What Are the Real College Dorm Room Essentials for a Teen with ADHD?

—WilmingtonNCMomHi WilmingtonNCMom:I remember all too well getting my son ready to go away to college. It was a balancing act.

Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts ADHD in College

Q: I’m Overwhelmed by Starting the Project That Will Reduce My Overwhelm!

fatigue and overwhelm, so that we can actually finish the project?” – ADHDMumUKHi ADHDMumUK:Project planning is daunting — especially for those with ADHD. There are endless steps to organize and plan, details that need remembering, decisions to be made, and loads of activation required.

Dear ADHD Family Coach organization ask the experts

Q: How Can We Streamline Our Morning Routine with an Eye to Fall?

Q: “I’m worried about the Fall, when we my girls will go back to in-person school and need to be on a morning schedule. They will never get out the door on time! My younger daughter gets caught up in the mornings, always going back to her room for her socks or shoes or something else.

Dear ADHD Family Coach routines ask the experts

Q: What’s the Best Way for My Child to Study for Final Exams?

– FinalsMomHi FinalsMom:Getting organized to study for final exams is sometimes more difficult than the actual studying part. I work with students all day long helping them build their study skill set and it can be quite overwhelming.

Dear ADHD Family Coach CommissionsEarned ask the experts

Q: What Electronic Planners Work for Students with ADHD?

Hi Lulu:I’m never a fan of pushing any type of organizing or planning system on anyone. Different systems work for different individuals.

teens with ADHD Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

“Q: The Social Strain of ADHD Weighs Heavy on My Daughter”

ADHD in girls is often missed or overlooked. In fact, three boys are diagnosed with ADHD for every one girl.1 This is largely because the signs of ADHD tend to look different in girls: daydreaming in class, silliness or spaciness, shyness, skin picking, perfectionism, feeling anxious or sad, forgetfulness, emotional dysregulation, and sometimes trouble keeping friends.Girls show more signs of anxiety and mood disorders than do boys, and girls are often diagnosed at a later age than their male counterparts.

treating kids social skills ask the experts strain

Q: How Can I Remember to Take the ADHD Medication That Helps Me Remember Things?

ADHDMomHi ADHDMom:You are not alone! Juggling a daily medical to-do list along with home and family responsibilities can overwhelm even the most organized person. Though you might be struggling now, I believe you can create systems and strategies that may help streamline your health management.

Can I (I) Dear ADHD Family Coach medication ask the experts

Q: I Need Family Vacation Ideas That Will Delight, Not Overwhelm

– TravelingMomHi TravelingMom:I’m so excited for you! There is nothing like grabbing a precious opportunity to spend one-on-one time with your child – whether it’s a one-hour lunch date or a week-long road trip. I remember taking my son when he was 16 on a similar road trip.

Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts holidays & travel

Your Child’s Screen Time Is a Privilege, Not an Entitlement

Q: “My child spends all his time on screens, and he puts up a fight every time we ask him to get off. How are we supposed to regulate screen time during the pandemic and virtual learning? How much screen time for kids with ADHD is too much?”A: Screen time is a privilege, not an entitlement.

treating kids screen time ask the experts

Q: Will My ADHD Introvert Be Lonely and Isolated in High School?

Hi BayAreaMom:Your question really resonated with me as I hear this a lot from my parent coaching clients. They are unsure if they should be doing more to encourage more social interactions or step back and let their children lead the way.

teens with ADHD Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: My Child Asks ‘Why’ Constantly and I Can’t Handle the Defiance!

Why do I have to do that? Why can’t you do it? Why does it have to happen now? I find it so frustrating, and I feel that she is being really defiant. I get angry and then it escalates and what I need her to do doesn’t happen.” – FrustratedMomHi FrustratedMom:I answered countless “why” questions while my children were growing up… and I still do.

defiance Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: What’s the Best Way to Study for Middle-School Exams?

Washington University, more than 83 percent of students choose to re-read their notes or textbook. Why is that? It’s an easy way out. Re-reading is super passive.

Washington middle school Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: What’s the Best Planner for a Student with ADHD and Dysgraphia?

Q: “I have trouble pushing a paper calendar or planner for my son, who has dysgraphia. When we’ve tried in the past, it’s gotten messy very quickly because it’s hard to keep up with changes and details.

school & learning Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: How Can I Tackle ‘The Great Bedroom Clean-Up’ with My Teen?

GeorgiaADHDMomHi GeorgiaADHDMom:I’m so proud of YOU! The constant parent-child struggle over bedrooms isn’t necessarily always the kid’s fault (despite what parents may think).

Can I (I) Dear ADHD Family Coach organizing your child ask the experts

“Q: How Can I Get My Parents to Take ADHD Seriously?”

Hi ConfusedTeen:I want to applaud you for reaching out and asking for help. Even as an adult, it’s never easy to identify the right course of action or the most appropriate next steps when you think you have ADHD.

Can I (I) teens with ADHD Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: How Can She Focus with Distracting Roommates Around All the Time?

– CollegeMomHi CollegeMom:Living with roommates is tough – especially for college students with ADHD. Getting used to living in a small, shared space definitely takes compromise, trial and error, and lots of planning.

Dear ADHD Family Coach ADHD in a Pandemic ask the experts

Q: How Can I Improve My Kids’ Work-at-Home Environment?

– ADHDGirlMomHi ADHDGirlMom:Relying solely on our own internal motivation to get stuff done is exhausting – and not sustainable. Especially now, it’s critical to set up your environment so it communicates to you that it’s time to get moving or motivated.

Can I (I) Dear ADHD Family Coach ADHD in a Pandemic ask the experts

Q: How Do I Get Rid of Stuff I Don’t Use But Worry I’ll Miss?

Q: “I want to try to clean up my house in the New Year. I’m holding on to a lot of stuff I got on vacations or that was given to me as gifts.

Dear ADHD Family Coach clutter ask the experts

Q: Should I Let My Teen Pull All Nighters?

–ExhaustedHi Exhausted:Before I dive in, I need to ask a question: You say that “it’s exhausting!” But for whom? Is your daughter complaining that she is exhausted each morning or are you exhausted by how and when she gets her work done? As you also state, your daughter has a strong work ethic and does well in school.

High school Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: Can I Get My ADHD Medication Refilled Out of State?

Q: “I live full time in my RV and travel the country. My residency is in Vermont, but I’m presently residing in Arizona and it seems I need to become a resident of Arizona to get a prescription — at least at some clinics. Given that my ADHD medication is a controlled substance, I can’t get a script from my PCP back in Vermont because it requires a face-to-face appointment. Do you have any advice for long-term travelers or college students with ADHD who need to get their prescriptions while away from home?” — MichaelDear Michael,The short answer is that the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) rules changed permanently in March 2020 and, so long as the initial evaluation was done face-to-face, your original prescriber can continue to

Can I (I) state Arizona state Vermont ADHD in a Pandemic medication ask the experts

Q: Does My Son’s Study Music Really Help Him Focus?

– nomusicmomHi Nomusicmom:The short answer is yes. Your son is telling you he needs to listen to music to help him attend and initiate.

teens with ADHD Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: My Teen is Flooded with Assignments Every Monday!

Q: “What do you recommend for time management when your student’s online assignments get mass assigned at the beginning of the week and are all due at the end of the week at midnight? It’s a nightmare!”So many students today are feeling overwhelmed by the volume of work assigned through online learning. I am hearing similar questions from many parents in our Order Out Of Chaos community.Most of my students get easily overwhelmed by the volume of work they are assigned…especially all at the same time.

middle school homework Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: How Can I Organize My Diabetes Supplies Without Losing Anything?

–DenverthreeHi Denverthree:I applaud you for truly wanting to take care of yourself. You are on the right path by creating effective and streamlined organizing solutions for your diabetes supplies.Here are a few steps to follow:1. Categorize your supplies. Place items that are used together in the same category and keep them in a logical location.

Can I (I) Family Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

“Q: My Son Doesn’t Care About Anything! What’s Going On?”

ADHD and ODD do have empathy. What may explain your teen’s apathy, however, is that he’s likely feeling disconnected from himself and afraid of negative judgment from others.To him, everything may seem stupid because:[Does Your Son Hide in the Safe Social Confines of Gaming?]As your son is just entering adolescence, he is likely becoming more aware of the ways in which, painfully, he’s not be fitting in or succeeding as he would like.

My Son Doesn self-esteem teens with ADHD ask the experts dear teen parenting coach

Q: Why Does My Child Procrastinate?

– FrustratedMomHi FrustratedMom:The key to managing procrastination is to truly understand why you do it in the first place — not an easy task, I know, and even more difficult for students with ADHD. I can offer you all kinds of tips, tools, strategies, and systems for your son, but none of them will be truly effective until he understands his roadblocks.

Dear ADHD Family Coach CommissionsEarned ask the experts

Q: How Can I Organize All of These Medical Forms and Bills?

Q: “I seem to be able to figure out how to organize the stuff in my house, but I’m really struggling with all of our medical paperwork. I have old lab reports and records that I don’t want to throw away, but I also have bills and insurance forms all over the place that need my attention.

Can I (I) Dear ADHD Family Coach organization ask the experts

10 Hard (But Essential) Truths for Dads of Boys with ADHD

ADHD in boys. Scroll down for the full video — to watch and to share!ADHD medications are the most researched medications in the psychiatry field; they are also the safest.

ADHD experts ADHD in Boys ask the experts dads with ADHD

Q: What’s the Best Way to Study for a Test with ADHD?

MeltdownMomHi MeltdownMom:A wise professor once told me, “There’s no learning without pain.”In other words, it has to hurt to work. What I believe he meant was that to truly understand what you are studying, your brain needs to do some heavy mental lifting.

Meltdownmomhi Meltdownmom school & learning Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts tests and studying

Q: I Need an ADHD Evaluation, but My Mom is In Denial

Self-closetedHi Self-closeted:I want to applaud you for reaching out and asking for help. Even as an adult, it’s never easy to identify the right course of action or the most appropriate steps to take when you think you have ADHD.

diagnosing kids Dear ADHD Family Coach ask the experts

Q: Where Do I Start?!? How to Organize and Initiate a Big Project

Q: “My daughter has a real problem when it comes to working on projects. She doesn’t know how to get started and ends up getting frustrated, wasting time, and having meltdowns.

Dear ADHD Family Coach ADHD in a Pandemic ask the experts