force myself to be as neurotypical as possible. I would sit and stare at a blank document for hours, reminding myself over and over about the assignment’s importance. I would force myself to be friends with people who got angry at me for being unable to read social situations because I was sure I would see those cues someday.
And, I would take a sleeping medication every night at 10:50pm so I could fall asleep at 11 pm like everyone else.Sometime in my early 20s I started to notice that I was getting sleepy during the daytime. It all came to a head one day when I was driving down the highway at around 2pm; traffic was moving at a nice, swift pace when it occurred to me that I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I turned up the music.
I still was struggling. I hit myself. No dice.
Finally, I pulled over to the side of the highway, took a 20-minute nap, and then immediately drove home.[Get This Free Download: How to Sleep Better with ADHD]That day, I realized that the medication I took to help me sleep each night was negatively affecting my waking hours. This was the catalyst that forced me to confront the fact that my desperation to be neurotypical was not only never going to bear fruit, but it was doing me real harm.Despite my best efforts, I have always been neurodivergent and I always will be. So, since that day, I have put a lot of effort into being happily neurodivergent rather than miserably neurodivergent.
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