A couple’s therapist once told me and my then-partner a metaphor for relationships I’ll never forget. In a “healthy” relationship, she told us, making two circles with her hands and holding them out in front of her, each person is in their own hoop.
As you go through life together, your hoops touch – supporting each other, witnessing each other’s tough moments and triumphs, and perhaps reaching out a hand when times get hard – but ultimately, each person still has their own separate, distinct hoop.
If you, like me, have struggled with codependent tendencies, this metaphor might have made you realize you have totally gone through life jumping into other people’s hoops.
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