Pia Mellody: recent publications

Healing from Abandonment Trauma: 3 Things I Learned from Being Cheated On

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” ~Rumi

I want to share an experience I went through that hurt like hell, but that helped me so much in the long run.

The experience was being “,” though the woman wasn’t my girlfriend. Nevertheless, I was very attached and it felt awful.

So, let me start with the backstory.

I met Diana through mutual friends in late 2021. I thought she was cute, and a little anxious, which I seem to gravitate toward. That’s just my savior complex coming out, which is another story for another day.

Eventually we hooked up after a holiday party and continued hooking up regularly. I began to have stronger feelings for Diana than I anticipated, though I tried to play it cool and not cause any awkwardness in the group.

Things started deteriorating between us at one point, and it culminated in Diana going home with another guy basically in front of me.

Needless to say, I was devastated.

My friend who introduced me to Diana was there, and he asked me, “Are you catching feelings?” I was that he would try to shame me into not feeling what I was feeling. I said, “Yes, I am” and left immediately.

On the way home, I was screaming in my car, and I even punched my steering wheel, which I had never done before. I was so triggered and mad. There was a tornado of emotion ripping through my chest—anger, grief, worthlessness, desperation.

The next day, I woke up and left the house to get a smoothie. I didn’t want to be by myself as I was going through this.

Initially I didn’t feel so bad, but I knew that the wave was going to hit me sooner or later. I started rereading books on relationships that I had read before. Books like by Robert Firestone and by Pia Mellody. Luckily, I had these books to turn to

liking life feelings

Robert Firestone Pia Mellody


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