people feelings forgiveness

No, I Don't Need to Forgive You to Heal From My Trauma

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themighty.com

When I was younger, I would always hear my elders telling me something along the lines of, “forgive so-and-so for you.” And, “If you don’t forgive, you can’t move on.” Whenever I was upset about someone doing me wrong, I was pushed to forgive them and get over it.

It always confused me because the entire concept of forgiveness as described to me seemed to benefit other people rather than benefit me.

Why would my healing or my ability to move on and grow from a situation be contingent on whether or not I forgive someone? Why does my choice to not forgive someone automatically mean I’m holding a grudge or not moving on?

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