New is hard for me. New jobs, new environments, new people, new anything is difficult as someone with anxiety. Whether it was starting my new job at the library, or choreographing for the first time at community theater, new is hard.
And I want to be there. These are all things I love, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Often how I “want to feel,” like I’m having fun, doesn’t match up with how I actually feel — incredibly nervous.
And that contrast can only add to my tension. I feel like I “should” be enjoying choreographing for the theater. I love dance.