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Making Sense of My Psychosis

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themighty.com

When I came out of hospital after my first psychotic episode in 1996, aged 27, I felt compelled to write about my experiences. “I used to have romantic notions of madness,” was the first sentence of what I didn’t realize at the time, would become “My Beautiful Psychosis.” Reading it now, it doesn’t sound like me: I never use the word “notions” for a start.

And the narrative voice was a little self-pitying, but it was part of the process of recovery. When I was in hospital, I didn’t realize I was experiencing psychosis.

To me it felt like a spiritual awakening. I couldn’t understand why the doctors thought differently. They weren’t the ones on the inside of it and didn’t even ask me what I was experiencing so how could they know.

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