state Littman: recent publications

“What Happened When I Stopped Walking on Eggshells in My Relationship”

I recently got dumped after a romantic four-day vacation. An ex called me out of the blue, triggering a flood of insecurities from my then-partner. She went ballistic and did so many mental backflips that I checked her LinkedIn profile to find out where she trained as an elite psychiatric acrobat.

She stormed off without her phone, and I had to chase after her. It was humiliating.But I’m not sad. I’m busy.

I have a clean slate and a new beginning. While I do miss my ex for many reasons, I am better off without engaging in major arguments about petty things. I never really felt supported by my ex, a black-and-white thinker, and I always suspected she would “cut and run” at the first sign of trouble.

Her love felt highly conditional. I will not miss walking on eggshells as the list of my every digression and faux pas mounted. For mutual reasons, splitting up was for the best.

We have no animosity. So, why does it still hurt when I’m moving on in a healthy way?I told my psychiatrist about our relationship, and he noted that I seem to date people with signs of BPD (borderline personality disorder), for whom “patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving become so rigid that functioning is impaired,” according to Dr. Ellen Littman.“Considered to be a difficult disorder for family and friends to understand, it is also a difficult disorder for clinicians to treat.

It is the personality disorder most likely to co-occur with ADHD in women.“Women with BPD experience chronic instability — in their emotions, behaviors, relationships, and sense of self. They are impulsive in response to rapid mood changes. Their sense of self fluctuates based on their ability to cope with feelings of abandonment,” Littman states.[Self-Test: Borderline

. treating adults comorbid diagnoses personality disorders

Ellen Littman

www.additudemag.comwww.additudemag.com

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