county Love: recent publications

To the Parent Who Never Showed Me They Loved Me

Dear Dad,

Can you believe it’s been 18 years since we last talked? If you count an 11-year-old me telling you over the phone in hysterics I don’t want anything to do with you anymore “talking.”

You’ve missed out on so much of my life, a life you believed I would never achieve. I’ve spent a large portion of my life juggling between mixed feelings about you. Do I hate you? Miss you? Forgive you? I wonder if you’ve ever thought about me, or did the drugs and alcohol deteriorate your brain so much I’m just a distant memory?

I wish I could tell you so many things. How many countless nights I spent growing up wondering why you did the things you did. Why you neglected me to the point I was terrified of being alone with you or even in the same

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