I don’t care that I’m suicidal anymore. This isn’t me waving a white flag, signaling to the world that I’m about to cave in a long and arduous battle between me and my suicidality and thus I’m writing my goodbyes.
It’s the complete opposite. I’m at peace with my suicidality, because I know nothing is going to happen. Let me backtrack: I’ve been chronically suicidal, ranging from moderate to severe ranges of passive to active suicidality for the better part of the last decade.
I’ve had moments where I’m happy I stayed alive and moments where I’m bitter and resentful toward myself for not following through with it prior in life.
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