Back before he started on his path to learning how to live with me, my husband used to refuse to say he was sorry if he hurt my feelings. “I didn’t mean to,” he would say. “If you stepped on my toe without meaning to, you’d say you were sorry,” I replied. “Yes, but if I stepped on your toe, I’d know I hurt you.” “I tell you that you hurt my feelings.
That’s how you know you did.” “I can’t control your reactions. I say something and you react with hurt.” “I can’t choose my reactions when you step on my toe.
It hurts and I say ouch. It’s the same when you hurt my feelings.” We’d go around like this for a while. Later, he came around to the idea that I couldn’t control my reactions.
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