People say it’s a type of darkness. Inescapable. Irrational. Deeply painful. For me it feels like I’m tumbling down a rabbit hole, just like Alice.
Only my rabbit hole is pitch black and lined with thorns that prick my skin as I fall farther down. I don’t feel the scrapes on my skin — I’m too numb for that.
I feel them on my soul and the pain is impossible to describe. I’ve been dealing with this madness since I was a youngling, as I come from a place of long-term childhood sexual, physical and emotional abuse.
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