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Diaries of “Adulting” with ADHD (or Not)

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Earning a degree. Buying a house. Starting a family. Becoming an adult brings many exciting milestones — or dreaded expectations.

The difference in perspective sometimes hinges on ADHD.Executive function challenges play no small part in how we view and approach “adulting.” EFs affect our ability to plan, prioritize, motivate, regulate, and problem solve.

While EF challenges begin in early development, they often trail into adulthood. And big life events may be delayed or missed entirely as a result.Here, ADDitude readers tell us when they felt like they reached adulthood; a milestone that signified that achievement; or if they’re still working on the whole “adult” thing.

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Positive reinforcement: Encourage and praise good behavior, focusing on the positives instead of constantly highlighting the negatives.Setting clear expectations: Establish clear, age-appropriate expectations and boundaries for behavior, ensuring that your child understands the rules and the reasons behind them.Natural consequences: Whenever possible, allow children to experience the natural consequences of their actions, helping them to learn from their mistakes and understand the importance of making responsible choices.Logical consequences: When natural consequences are not applicable or safe, implement logical consequences that are directly related to the misbehavior and teach the child how to make better choices in the future.Open communication: Foster open and honest communication by actively listening to your child’s feelings and concerns, validating their emotions, and working together to resolve conflicts or challenges.Modeling appropriate behavior: Demonstrate appropriate behavior and emotional regulation by managing your own emotions and reactions in difficult situations, providing your child with a positive example to follow.Parent-child collaboration: Involve your child in problem-solving and decision-making processes, allowing them to take ownership of their actions and develop a sense of autonomy.While discipline is necessary for teaching children about boundaries and acceptable behavior, relying on threats of consequences can have negative long-term effects on their emotional and psychological well-being.