parting forgiveness abuse

Dear Society: No, I Don’t Need to Forgive My Abusers

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themighty.com

I’ve been thinking about something that was said to me about “getting over” the sexual abuse and rape I endured and how I “need to forgive” and “put it behind me” and “stop being a victim.” I interpreted this as, “Shut up, and figure out how to accept and ingest all the blame and shame yourself, because it makes me uncomfortable when you display the audacity to talk about its effect on you.

I can’t handle the power of your rage and the depth of your sadness over what you were forced to endure.” How can someone not carry in their mind, body and soul, the trauma rape and sexual abuse has on them?

I don’t know how you put it down, white wash it and say, “It’s fine, that was then, this is now, it shouldn’t matter anymore, it was “no big deal.”

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